Sunday, July 31, 2011

Now, Cohabitation is Too Much of a Commitment

A growing number of young American adults are engaging in what's called "stayover relationships," in which they spend three or more nights together each week while still having the option of going to their own homes, a new study shows.
"It is not a different relationship form. It is one thing that people do while dating."
For background, read No Marriage in Most U.S. Households: Census and also read Defeating Marriage & Destroying Family: Survey

UPDATE 1/23/12: Casual sex popularity causes skyrocketing rates of STDs among young adults

-- From "Even Living Together Is Too Much Commitment for Today's Couples" posted at HealthDay News 7/29/11

"Instead of following a clear path from courtship to marriage, individuals are choosing to engage in romantic ties on their own terms without the guidance of social norms," study author Tyler Jamison, a doctoral candidate in the human development and family studies department at the University of Missouri, said in a university news release.

The study appears in the current issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

To read the entire article above, CLICK HERE.

From "Young adult dating trend slows road to marriage" by Paula Rogo, Reuters 7/29/11

"There is a gap between the teen years and adulthood during which we don't know much about the dating behaviors of young adults. Stayovers are the unique answer to what emerging adults are doing in their relationships," [said Jamison].

Jamison and the co-author of the study, Lawrence Ganong, found that comfort and convenience are the biggest attractions of stayover relationships among young adults, which allow them to maintain a form of control over the pace of their relationship and their possessions.

"None of them saw themselves as cohabiters," Jamison explained, even if they spent six or seven nights together. "It is interesting how separate they felt about their living arrangements to the point where they would act like a guest in the other person's place."

To read the entire article above, CLICK HERE.

From "'Stayover Relationship' is the New Marriage" posted at International Business Times 7/31/11

The "convenient" relationship allows for an arrangement that facilitates couples who are not sure they want to end up in a permanent relationship and do not want to end up living together if things go awry.

Jamison describes the phenomenon as one that has a number of benefits but not many consequences, but some experts feel it's a reflection of the general degradation of U.S. society.

"We don't want anyone hindering us from doing our thing," Aaron Turpeau, a licensed professional counselor and relationship expert in Atlanta. "You hear people say it all the time: 'You do you, and I'll do me.' Unfortunately, this obsession with independence leads to unhealthy human relationships."

"We don't value what we don't need, and we don't love what we don't value," he says. "I can say I want a relationship, but I don't need a relationship. I want a man, but I don't need a man. So we play house; we play marriage and as soon as we get tired, we go back to our own places."

To read the entire article above, CLICK HERE.