"When I was going to Shield (outside the abortuary) simply to pray, during my freshman year, I went almost every week, with hardly a second thought. As soon as I began counseling, however, things were different."From "Thoughts of a Sidewalk Counselor" by Cassidy Bugos, posted 8/8/07 at LifeSite.org
I only began sidewalk counseling last fall, and I've not been able to keep it up steadily. God willing, I'll do better this semester. It's funny that I've found it so hard to keep up, as I've wanted to be a sidewalk counselor ever since I was quite little. When I was going to Shield simply to pray, during my freshman year, I went almost every week, with hardly a second thought. As soon as I began counseling, however, things were different.
No doubt there are people out there who would be much better suited than I to counsel the women who enter the Planned Parenthood clinic in D.C. No doubt there are people who are much stronger, much more selfless and calm and compassionate than I. The other regular counselors are admirable to watch: T.J. is a sea of calm, impossible to ruffle, gentle and good-humored. Tara approaches the Hispanic "Mamas" - as she addresses them - with the utmost love and reverence. The key is love, and the counselors show it. I hope to God I show it, but I'm not sure; it's hard to know. But someone has to be that someone there for the women considering abortion and I feel strangely compelled to. I do hope that everyone - young people and especially young women - who read this article will pause to ask themselves whether sidewalk counseling is something they could do, with God's help.
Yet, as I said, as soon as I began counseling, going to Shield was different. I dreaded each Saturday morning. I don't know if the torment was more psychological or spiritual, although I'm inclined to call it the latter. Even still, the night before Shield I can always think of a dozen very good reasons not to go. As I push myself through those reasons, it all comes down to the fact that I just don't like it, and I feel a little ill at the thought of doing it again. Other counselors have said they experience the same thing.
I know now that when I used to go to Shield only to pray, my eyes shut against what was going on around me, I was doing something more important than counseling; I was praying for the counselors. In some sense more important, yes; but easier, because you get to close your eyes. The first time I looked into the eyes of a woman entering the clinic, my faith was violently rocked. This is not a pleasant business. This woman and her baby should be as far away from this place as possible; I should be as far away from here as possible . . . God, how did the world come to this?
Wouldn't it be wonderful if it weren't necessary?
Read the rest of Cassidy's commentary.
