"Wad of cells does not equate to human life..."

Shane Krouse is part of the braintrust at MSU's independent voice, the State News. If this column is any indication, the trust is bankrupt...

...Banning abortion deprives the mother of her rights to property and to the pursuit of happiness.

Huh?

Could someone let these poor uneducated rebelliously liberal young people in on this concept: Having an inalienable constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness does not necessarily equal a government-underwritten guarantee of the attainment of happiness. If you wish to achieve actual happiness, you must make wise and responsible choices along the way. Getting pregnant by a man who doesn't love you more than he loves himself (in which case he would first be married to you) does not result in happiness. Having an abortion does not result in happiness. Especially not for the "fetus."

I find myself wondering if Mr. Krouse has mulled over that other inalienable constitutional right - uh, the inalienable right to LIFE!

During the first trimester of the pregnancy, the fetus is merely a wad of cells.

Apparently, MSU is too short on funding to offer biology classes.

The point I am trying to make here is that a fetus is not a living human, and therefore, an abortion is not responsible for annihilating a human's life.

Apparently, MSU is also too short on funding to provide English courses. Or an editor for this so-called newspaper. (I guess technically he's right: "An abortion" is an act. The act is not responsible for anything. The abortionist, his assistants, and the woman submitting to an abortion are responsible for annihilating a human life.)

The supreme law of our land, the U.S. Constitution, guarantees Americans have the right to their property. Are pets not considered the property of a human?

Yes, Mr. Krouse, pets are considered property (except by your friends at PETA) - and yet if you poke scissors in the back of your cute little weiner puppy's head and suck its brains out with your vacuum attachment, your neighbors will call the police and the county prosecutor will press animal cruelty charges and you will be the most vilified human being in the nation, surpassing even Scott Peterson and the BTK killer. (If your abortionist does the same thing to your 9 mo "fetus" in the very moment she might naturally draw her first breath, you can be featured in Ms. Magazine.)

[It's okay to kill tapeworms so...]

...why not allow for fetuses to suffer the same fate?

This part is progress: At least Mr Krouse acknowledges that a "fetus" suffers pain and agony when it is doused in burning saline and then has its arms or legs pulled off.

...25 percent of conceived embryos perish within the first six weeks due to complications such as failure to implant to the uterus wall? That's right — a
quarter of all "humans" conceived end up "dying."

It would appear that the "loving" God of these fundamentalists is many more times guilty of murder than all the human race's abortionists combined.

Why stop at miscarried babies (for whom memorials or funerals are, in fact, often held, for whom countless prayers are offered, and for whom their mothers and fathers grieve for years)? Why not accuse God of murdering every person who dies, from conception until age 103? If you're going to blaspheme, why stop at miscarriages?

Life begins when the baby is passed through the birth canal and exits the womb. At this point, the baby is no longer physically connected to the mother and no longer freeloading its nutrients and oxygen from mommy.

Yeah, most newborn babies I know are perfectly self-sufficient and independent. They get part-time jobs, heat their own formula, and stuff their own diapers into the genie.

Do these last few statements seem absolutely asinine?

Yes, but no more so that all the others preceeding them.

Conclusion of this matter: Think about this brilliant apology for abortion the next time you watch MSNBC or read an article in the Northwest Herald - it will help you understand what you're consuming. Then turn off the TV, put down the paper, and pick up something that offers wisdom and hope: your Bible.

This was written tongue-in-cheek, but in all soberness, please pray that a solid Christian comes alongside this young man and is able to show to him just how valuable his own life is to Jehovah God. When he knows who he is before God, he will write a new column.